He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
