I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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