I got chris browned last night
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize