i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
