You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize