Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize