Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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