She is in my trunk
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
