All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am one with the molecules
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize