Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
