I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Randomize
