Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
