Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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