HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
