there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
