Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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