I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
