Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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