When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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