Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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