How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
