Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
