we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
