P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize