I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
