All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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