Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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