he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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