Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
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