So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
