ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
tell me about the eggs
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