I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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