i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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