the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
