Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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