Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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