My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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