You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
