He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
