ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
