I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
