Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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