I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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