well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
