I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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