Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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