Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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