3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
