Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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