Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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