the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
