Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
