I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
