im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
false alarm. still invincible.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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