Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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