I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
