You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Dear god my vagina.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
