Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
