i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
