dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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