do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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