Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
