so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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