Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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