Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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