Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
