is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
