God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
